It's over to you
by Linda-previouslyMissyMaura
Summary: She disappeared..can he find her before it's too late? TENTH CHAPTER POSTED Samka
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya guys! New story, hope you enjoy :D**

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* * *

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_And I didn't think about  
All the ways I hurt you and myself  
And I wouldn't say a thing to you  
I keep it to myself in my mind  
_

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* * *

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Dear Sam

Sometimes I wonder if I did something wrong. That particular day I yelled too much, or I didn't help enough. I've run through every possible reason why you went, and I've got nothing. There was nothing different about that day except Alex got a letter from his dad.

You went to work like normal. I took the kids to school like normal. I went to work, drank some coffee, gave my wife a kiss and went on rounds like normal. I ate lunch with you like normal. But I still arrived home- baby under my arm, kids laughing- to a note taped to the kitchen table. No real explanation, just an apology and a goodbye.

Every day you told me how much you loved me, how thankful you were for our 4 healthy children but obviously that didn't stop you leaving us all without a proper goodbye.

It's been nearly 2 years since you vanished. The baby you nearly died for is a toddler now, walking and talking, the twins are 7 and seriously independent and Alex is 17, with a girlfriend and a big mouth. We live in a similar house as before but with a bigger garden and a trampoline, a cat called Mindy and three goldfish.

We never get letters from you, not even to ask after the kids. I could deal with the fact you doesn't love me anymore but the kids…well they don't really understand. Meredith cries out for her mom in the night, Freya constantly writes about you and in every picture Max draws you're there. I love it that they remember you, but trying to explain to them that I don't know when (or if) you're coming home guts me every time.

Forever, Luka x

"Good job Luka. You're doing well."

"Thanks. I need to go-the kids need picking up."

"Same time next week?"

"Okay."

* * *

_And I can't stand without you  
And I won't find the answers  
When you're gone_

_But it's over to you  
I can't find the answers when you're gone  
And it's over to you  
But you can't find the answer where you are_

* * *

Dear Luka

Today I held a child down as the doc did a spinal tap. She had dark hair and big brown eyes, and for a minute I thought Freya was on that table.

I miss you all so much and I wish I could send this, but Steve watches every piece of mail that leaves this house. I just know he'd find you and I don't want to cause you even more harm. You and the kids deserve proper lives, not ones spoiled by my past mistakes.

I keep hoping you're not out there somewhere searching for me. He's gotten more violent since…

"You stopped Sam."

"Yeah, I needed to do something."

"Is Steve violent towards you?"

"Not really."

"Sometimes?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"Will you tell me?"

"He never touches Indy, just me. I s'pose I deserve it. I wind him up."

"Does he physically hurt you?"

"He slaps me- Nothing too bad."

"Mentally?"

"Look, I need to go. I've got to work."

"Same time next week?"

"Yeah."

* * *

_And you know I need you now  
And this ain't easy to admit  
But no one needs to know  
What goes on behind  
The door in my room  
I'm kicking through the walls in my mind

* * *

_

Dear Sam,

We went to the Carter wedding yesterday. Rory and Max were the ushers and Cosmo was the ring bearer but you would have been proud of our girls too- Freya was the best bridesmaid by far, and Meri did a brilliant job of scattering the rose petals. The whole day was amazing, but everyone told me that you were missed. Abby was upset you weren't around to help her pick the dress or do her hair.

I got asked a lot if I was married, by relatives of the couple. I told them my wife couldn't make it. You'll never stop being my wife, no matter how long you're gone for.

Right now, as I'm writing this, Meri is singing 'Come what may'. It only seems like yesterday we were singing that song to your baby belly to entice her out, and now she's here but you're not.

I give the kids a kiss from you every night, and tell them we both love them. I don't think Meri understands a lot, but she sure misses you.

I checked with Sergeant Saunders earlier, that they hadn't found you. They said a Samantha Taggart was working in Leeland General Hospital, Florida from April 22nd 2009-Febuary 19th 2010 but then she disappeared. Worked out they'd found you did he? Swept you away again?

I'm not one for violence, but if I met that scumbag again I'd…

"Luka, remember-no violence."

"Sorry."

…yeah well, it's probably less than what he's doing to you every day. I can't bear to think about your skin marred by the kind of bruises he'd make. Don't let him break you and remember; I love you.

L x

"Better. Carry on the letters-they seem to let you vent your feelings better than actual words. We'll see how it goes. Next week?"

"Yeah. Mind if I bring my daughter?"

"That's fine."

* * *

_And I can't stand without you  
And I won't find the answers  
When you're gone_

_But it's over to you  
I can't find the answers when you're gone  
And it's over to you  
You can't find the answers where you are_

* * *

Luka,

I'm missing you more today than ever before. I hope the twins had a great birthday. Say hello to them all.

Sam

"That was short."

"Well I didn't have much time this week."

"Why not?"

"Indy had a cold, and Steve hurt his foot. I had no free time."

"Well, I hope they get better and you have more time next week."

"Me too."

* * *

_I won't tear you down  
I won't tear you down  
To get into the world you wanted  
I'm kicking through the walls  
But no one can believe  
In things that never change_

* * *

Sam,

The twins missed you at their party. Last year they didn't understand but today they both said, separately, that they wished their mommy loved them enough to come back. I couldn't speak; I just had to hold them. When I regained my voice I told them you do love them enough but other things stopped you coming. I know they don't believe me anymore.

Alex got upset at Meredith yesterday when she knocked over a picture of you and him. I had to stop him from yelling at her but he still got pretty mad and ran off. He came back at 2am with a split lip, smelling of whiskey.

Sam, I've got to tell you the truth-You're leaving has broken this family.

All my love, Luka x

* * *

_But it's over to you  
I can't find the answers when you're gone  
And it's over to you  
You can't find the answers where you are  
And it's over to you  
I can't find the answers when you're gone  
And I can't find the answers when you're gone  
I can't find the answers when you're gone_

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hiya, hope you liked the last chapter. Here's a new one, enjoy and REVIEW please, I love reviews :D**

**luv yas xxx**

**PS SOME VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER**

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"Sammy, you want me to make dinner?"

"No thanks, I made a stew earlier, after Indy went for her nap."

"You cooked? This should be fun." Steve sneered.

"Hey, don't eat it if you don't want to." She opened a cupboard and pulled out the only decent pan they owned. Running some water in, she set it to boil and hauled out the sack of potatoes from the larder. Steve came up beside her and pulled her sideways to him but she wriggled away, trying to get back to the dinner.

"Aren't I good enough?" He asked, grabbing her wrist.

"Steve, I'm trying to make dinner. I'll give you a hug in a minute."

"Can't it wait?" He whined, pulling her wrist again, this time making her knock the potatoes on the floor.

"Steve! Can't you just wait!" She bent down and picked up the fallen vegetables but suddenly her head was yanked up, pain searing through the roots of her hair as he held a handful of her honey curls in his fist.

"You wouldn't last without me. I want to make you see what it's like to be ugly." Sam looked up and saw the pot of bubbling water nearing as he held her head over it. The heat hurt her eyes and she knew exactly what he was going to do. Struggling she stuck her hands out in front of her to stop him. The pot dropped, splashing its contents onto both of their legs. Sam screamed as he spun her round and pushed her against the side of the oven.

"That hurts." She said, tears collecting in her eyes. The heat on her back was intensifying and the smell of burning fabric snaked to her nose. She could feel the pain creeping over her left arm and she screamed again, this time louder.

"Shut up." He yelled, throwing her across the room. Crying, she curled up, holding her arm and feeling the heat still there even after the flames were extinguished.

"Shut up bitch, you'll wake your brat baby!"

"She's your child too."

"She wouldn't even be here if you'd listened to me. I don't know why I waste my money on you." She glared at him and continued investigating her arm, grimacing at the pain.

"I was distracted by my baby."

"The pan slipped?"

"Yeah, and I reached across the cooker to catch it. That's how my sleeve caught fire." Sam bit her lip and sighed. The doctor clearly didn't believe her but there was nothing she could do with Steve breathing down her neck. Indy let out a squeal and she spun round, taking the baby from Steve quickly.

"Could I speak to you alone Ms Taggart?" She began to nod but Steve laid a hand on her shoulder.

"We've been together for 10 years. Anything she needs to know, I should know."

"Mr Curtis, please. I need to speak confidentially with Samantha." Dr Basham leads Steve out the door and turns back to Sam.

"I need you to answer me truthfully Ms Taggart-do you feel safe at home?"

* * *

_If he's treating you like I treated you  
Or if he's cruel. I'll be the last to know_

* * *

"Dad, can I have ten bucks for a school trip?"

"Daddy can you do my shoes?"

"Dad can I have coco pops?" I turn and look at the kids crowded in the door frame then laugh.

"Max, can you fetch me my wallet, Freya come here and I'll do your shoes and Alex-you can if your sugar is ok." The boys disappear and Freya leaps onto my lap. She sings a song about a cat whilst I lace up her new shiny shoes.

"All done, little one."

"Ta." She hugs me then tears off to find some breakfast. Max comes back with the wallet and I tuck ten bucks into an envelope and watch him as he puts it in his book bag.

Meredith toddles in the door, smiling and plants a sticky kiss on my knee cap. I laugh and pull her up onto my hip and we wander round the house half tidying, half playing.

"You ready guys?" I yell at ten to nine. The twins run out of their rooms, and Alex trudges out grumbling.

"Why can't I drive to school? I have a car?"

"That car is not safe for a scrapheap. I don't know why I let you get it!"

"Cos you felt sorry for me after mom abandoned me-her only child without a father." He frowns.

"Oh yeah, I remember now." I answer and walk off, fed up of his self-pity routine. At first I felt sorry for him, left here without his mom but whereas everyone else has resigned themselves to the sad fact that every day the chance she'll return grows smaller, he clings to self pity and insolence. I'm finding him harder and harder to control these days. Unfortunately I find myself wondering if it's in his genes because he's turning into a Steve-clone.

We pile into the car and I drop them off to the respective schools until it's just me and Meri left.

"Come on Merry Meri, time to visit Dr Goober." I sigh and begin the drive to my therapist.

* * *

"I'm sorry Dr French but daycare couldn't take India today."

"That's okay." I put the car seat down with my sleeping baby inside and sit myself down. My therapist surveys me over her glasses, a twist of grey hair falling from the bun.

"How have you been?"

"Okay. Tired."

"Have you written anymore letters to Luka?"

"What, you mean pages and pages of writing he never gets to see because my controlling 'boyfriend' literally locks me in my house?" I cry, immediately regretting it. Indy wakes up and begins to cry and Dr French raises her eyebrows and writes something down. My day is getting worse, as I winch when Indy grabs my burn.

"Have you hurt yourself Samantha?" I chew on my lower lip and bounce the baby before speaking.

"Yeah, I burnt myself." She carries on looking until I crack. "Okay, fine. Steve got mad and…held my arm over the cooker. Happy? Satisfied you managed to squeeze that out of me?"

"No, not really. Because I can tell that you aren't planning on doing anything about it."

"How can I? I have a child with him."

"I vaguely remember you saying a few weeks ago that you're not sure it's his." I shrug and look away. "Don't close up Sam, I want to help you."

"No, you are employed to analyse me."

"At first, maybe. The whole incident with punching that patient intrigued me. But once I'd met you and spoken with you a few times I came to realise how vulnerable you were. Now, I actually want to help you, because you deserve to be helped for once in your life."

I don't know why I start crying but I do, and it feels good.

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GO ON, press that button and make me smile.


	3. Chapter 3

"Please Indy, shush. Daddy's not mad with you, he's just drunk." She looks up at me with those bright green eyes, eyes that stir memories in my mind, and stops crying. Recently she's started to become clingier- crying when I'm away from her, stopping the second I'm near again. Steve offers no comfort for her, in fact she screams more if he holds her. That in turn annoys him more and I have to take her off him quickly before he hurts her.

His rages scare me-the way his eyes suddenly fix on me and I know I've done something wrong. I used to know-usually it was something silly like the dinner wasn't hot enough or the table was messy, but recently it's been more cryptic. Last night he nearly punched me because I didn't look at him when he spoke to me. Before that it was because Indy's toys were messy, and the night before it was because I left the landing light on.

At 16 months she's starting to walk and talk, though she doesn't do much of either a lot of the time for fear of making her daddy mad. But on days like these, when he's gone from 8am til 9pm she wanders round the house with me, singing. Sometimes, if I close my eyes, she could be Freya. But I open them again all too soon, see my surroundings and remind myself I gave up my right to my children the day I got in that car and drove away.

It breaks my heart to think I don't know what my children really look like. The last time I saw Max he had a graze on his chin and a new haircut, Freya had dark hair, always in pigtails. And Meredith, the baby I dreamt of, was 11 months and beginning to teeth. Now she'd be nearly 3, and twins would have just turned 7.

I often think about writing Luka a letter, telling him everything, but the chance of Steve finding out and the consequences are too risky. Even if I asked Luka not to write back, I know how stubborn he is.

* * *

"Max, why did you punch Adam Sawyer?"

"He said my mommy was a puta and she didn't love me." I look in confusion at the principal.

"Puta means whore in Spanish Mr Kovac." He says quickly and looks back at my son who is chewing on his thumb nail. "Punching doesn't solve things Max; if you were mad you should have spoken to your teacher." Max nods and looks at me. "Don't do it again."

"I won't."

"Okay, well I won't suspend you this time-you're normally very good- but if it happens again, I will. Understand?" Max nods again. "Okay, well bye Max. Bye Mr Kovac." I take Max's hand and we go to the car. Freya is sitting in the back talking to Meri, who is eating a lollypop. Alex is slid down in the front seat with a face like thunder. He got suspended today for bringing alcohol to school. My kids are rioting!

As soon as we get home, Alex runs to his room and almost immediately the normal booming music comes on. I sit the twins and Meri in the living room to watch a video and I start making dinner.

For the first week after Sam left I cooked pizza every night. The next week it was chicken and chips and the cycle went on until the kids started complaining. Now I use a recipe book and make different dishes most nights-our favourite is tuna pasta bake.

The phone goes as I'm putting the dish in the oven. I slam the cooker door and dash for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Dr Kovac?"

"Speaking."

"It's Sergeant Saunders. We've had some information from Brookbank General Hospital, Minnesota. An Ms Samantha Taggart was treated there last Thursday."

"What for?"

"They aren't at the liberty to say-you're lucky we got that much."

"Thank you Sergeant Saunders." We hang up and I try and control my joy. There's a high chance it's not her, that she isn't even near Minnesota or any other problem. I'm not telling the little kids until I have to, but I feel the need to tell Alex.

"Hey Al," I push open the door and he looks up. "What you doing?"

"Looking at photos." He mumbles.

"Mind if I join you?" He shakes his head and holds a pile of glossy pictures out to me. All of them are of Sam and him or of all three of us together, except one near the bottom of the pile. It's Sam when she's pregnant with the twins, sunbathing. Her shirt is pulled up over her bump and she's smiling at something to the right of the camera.

"Do you like this photo?"

"S'alright."

"Alex, I have something to tell you…There's a slight possibility we've found your mom." Alex stares at me.

"Where?"

"Well apparently an Ms Samantha Taggart was treated in Minnesota last week. They couldn't say what for-patient confidentiality. I'll go up there as soon as possible…"

"I'm coming too."

"No Alex, I can't. What will the others say?"

"I don't care. Please Luka; I need to find my mom." He looks over at me and for the first time in two years I see a glimmer of something vulnerable in his eyes. I nod, unable to refuse him this time.

"I need you to find a nice picture of Freya, Max and Meri. Your mom'll want to see her kids if we find her."

"When we find her."

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Go on, push the button

The time has come to PUSH THE BUTTON

please :D mwah x


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the next chapter. Enjoy, R&R and make me happy :D**

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"Abby, I'm so sorry for dumping them on you."

"Seriously, it's not a problem. We'll have fun, won't we guys?"

"Yeah!" Max and Freya grin up at her, and Meri claps her hands. I kiss each one of them on the head and wave goodbye to Abby as we drive off. Alex is listening to music on his CD player so I turn the radio and hum along to some of the songs.

I decided to fly out there instead of driving the whole way-for some reason I get the feeling time is of the essence. It's a relatively small plane and luckily it's full of business men and not screaming kids. Alex falls asleep half way through the flight and I drift in and out of sleep until the pilot announces we're landing. Once we have all wheels on the ground, we get out quickly and grab our bags then make our way to the taxi rank. I'm planning on renting a car for the few days we're out here but it's 11.30pm and Alex is nearly falling over with tiredness.

The driver takes us to a little B&B and we traipse in. The owner is waiting for us, the last ones in, and she chats to us as she shows us to our room, a twin room with springy beds and a kettle. Alex would probably have sneered if he had enough energy but as it is, he collapses half dressed and I leave him to sleep.

* * *

Steve scowls and stumbles off. I clutch the side of my face and roll my jaw to check it's not broken. It's tender and bruising already, I wince as my fingers probe the area. This is the second time this week he's hit me for no reason, and it's getting scary.

The smell of whiskey hangs above me and I retch. Indy reaches out to me from her crib but doesn't cry. She knows he's still in the house, my baby has already learnt her crying gets me hurt. I swore I'd leave him if he touched India, I'd find a way to get out. But I never said anything about him touching me, and he knows it.

I hear his footsteps come up the stairs and I stand up, pretending to be doing something with Indy so he doesn't see the tears in my eyes.

"I'm going out." I nod but don't turn round. "Aren't you going to give me a kiss goodbye?" His hand encloses my upper arm and he yanks me towards him. "Bye sweetheart."

"Bye." He kisses me, squashing his lips to mine. A hand caresses my cheek and I have to stop myself from flinching as it presses against the already purple bruise on my jaw. Then he's gone and I can let the tears flow. I know he won't be able to climb the stairs when he gets back so Indy shares my bed. We cuddle up to each other in this old draughty house, with half the windows gone and no central heating. This isn't the way I wanted my beautiful baby girl to grow up, but I can't risk my life to get out: I know what would happen to Indy, and it's my duty to protect her from him.

My therapist says Indy should have started talking by now. I asked why she hasn't but I wasn't ready for the response.

"She's traumatized. She's learnt, through watching Steve beat you up, that her crying or talking increases the violence. You need to remove her from that situation. Sam, you need to get her, and yourself, out of there."

* * *

"Excuse me sir, does a Samantha Taggart work here?"

---

"Excuse me, do you know Samantha Taggart?"

---

"Excuse me, who can I speak to about getting records?"

I drop into a seat and sigh. I've been around every hospital in Rochester, and it's getting beyond a joke. I don't know how to find her, let alone where. Saunders directed me to the police department here and apparently someone will ring me if they find anything.

"Dr Kovac-were you looking for Samantha Taggart?" I look up and nod. The girl speaking has dark straight hair and the bluest eyes. She smiles at me and I smile back, hopeful she has a lead. "Are you a family member?" I bite my lip.

"Well, I'm her fiancé." The girl's smile fades.

"Oh, erm…I'm sure I would have remembered you. If you're her fiancé how come you don't know where she is?" I roll my eyes and look back at her.

"She left 2 years ago…but I know she wants to see me again."

"I'm sorry, but surely if she wanted to see you she would have sent you her address." The girl looks disbelieving, unsure of what to do.

"Look…"

"Vanya."

"Look Vanya, I don't care about myself, I think she has a right to see her kids." I hold out the pictures of the twins and Meredith. "She's in danger, that's why she can't contact me." Vanya looks at the pictures and smiles then suddenly her head springs up.

"I remember her."

"You do?" Vanya nods, something clouds her face.

"Do have ID? I believe you are her fiancé-these kids look like her and you seem truthful. You're a doctor right?" I nod. Vanya looks round. "I can get you her files if you can say she's a patient or something." I grin and whip out my ID card, plainly saying I'm an employee at County General Hospital, Chicago. "Follow me."

* * *

"Steve, I'm just taking Indy to the park."

"Alright."

I unfold the rickety old buggy and attempt to squash her into it.

"No Mama!" Indy shrieks, screwing her face up and howling.

"Sam! Shut the baby up, I'm watching the game." Steve yells from the living room.

"India shut up. India! India Taggart, be quiet!" It slips out of my mouth before I can stop it, and I hear Steve walk up behind me.

"I thought I told you, It's India Curtis." He grabs my wrist and I swing round. His hand moves faster than I can and it falls on my cheek, an angry red mark appearing. Indy looks up with those mystical eyes and shuts her mouth, tears welling up and streaking her cheeks. Without a second word Steve spins and re enters the living room. I take Indy out and lay her on the stairs, where she watches me in silence as I fold the buggy back up and put it in the broom closet.

"Come on Indy bug, wanna wear your reins and we can walk to the park." I pull on her hat and clip on the blue harness that insures she doesn't run off. I splash my face with water and the mark fades slightly. I wish the scars on Indy's mind would fade that easily.

I shiver as we step out the door, my coat being too thin for the freezing wind that whips my hair around. I attempt to pull it round me but nothing helps. Indy toddles along slowly for a while, then gets bored so I carry her the rest of the way, thankful for the warmth she gives me.

"You wanna go on the swings?" She nods but I want her to speak. "Indy, can you say swing?" She watches me thoughtfully and then when she's sure Steve isn't around, she smiles.

"Swing."

We spend the next hour playing on the park. Once, when Indy is on the slide, I think I see Alex but I tell myself to stop being stupid. Why would he be here?

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Review please. I live for reviews, good or bad. :oD


	5. Chapter 5

_**Here is the next part. Thanks SOOOOO much to everyone who reviewed :D you made me smile...and update quicker! so keep it up :D :D**__

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Samantha Taggart.34. Currently residing at 24 Walnut Drive, Rochester, Minnesota.

_Treated on 26th October last year for a fracture to 3 ribs on the left, then on the 3rd of November for a collapsed lung, 29th November for bruising to the lungs, then 3rd January for 3 fractured fingers. The list goes on. I can't bear to look at most of them, though I do scan for any major problems and find none._

_The latest entry was the 23rd of August-last Thursday. She was treated as an outpatient for superficial burns to the right upper arm. Significant bruising was noted to the chest, back and jaw. Resistance was shown to questioning about where the injuries came from._

That is so Sam.

Alex is splayed out on the bed, reading a magazine and listening to music, whilst I absorb the charts. I rang Abby a few minutes ago, to check on the kids and tell her the updates. Apparently Meri is a bit upset but I spoke to her and she seemed to cheer up. Abby told me to take as much time as I need-not to rush back, she's handling them fine.

"Wanna grab a bite to eat?" I ask Alex. He looks over and nods, a slight smile on his lips. We both change our shirts and go in search of a pizza place, succeeding in finding Mr Joe's Pizza emporium.

"I swore never to enter a shop with the word emporium at the end." Alex says sarcastically. I laugh and lay a hand on his shoulder, surprised when he doesn't shrug it off. We find a seat quickly and order.

----

I spoon the mashed up food into a plastic dish and set it on the table, then sit Indy in her chair and me on a stool in front of her. She pats her hands in the mess and licks them then decides she likes it and attempts to use her cutlery.

"Come on bubba." I hold out the spoon, with a little pie on and she grins and opens her mouth. We carry on this way, me alternating feeding her and me until Steve comes down. I smile and zap his dinner in the microwave then place it front of him and start cleaning up.

"The baby is dirty."

"Yeah, I'll wash up and then take her for a bath." He seems satisfied at that and opens the newspaper. I take her out of the chair and sit her on the floor with a dummy. She stands up and wobbles over to me.

"Mama, dink?" Indy leans on my leg and smiles at me. I laugh and pick her up, popping a beaker of juice in her chubby hands. Steve shovels chicken pie into his mouth with such a speed I wonder how he doesn't choke.

"You're too skinny." He suddenly exclaims, passing a judgmental eye down my physique. I know I've lost weight over the last few weeks but I wouldn't say I was skinny. "Eat something, god damn it."

"I do. I've just eaten some pie."

"Whatever. You're lucky you have me, you wouldn't be able to get a man looking like that."

I turn away and carry on washing up with Indy's eyes on me the whole time.

------------------

"Hello...what the..." She frowns, hand gripping the door.

"Sam. You're so thin." I gape at her almost skeletal frame.

"What are you doing here Luka?"

"I found you." I can't help but smile.

"Duh, answer my question."

"I came to find you. We all miss you." I chew on my lip.

"Have you been..." Her question hangs unfinished, her eyes glancing past me frantically.

"Looking for you all this time? Yes."

"But why? After what happened I thought you'd thank god I left." She looks at me steadily.

"Why would I do that?"

"My past caused too much trouble. I couldn't deal with it then and I can't deal with it now. I left for your own good."

"Don't try and make it sound like we asked you to leave. We're falling apart back home."

"And you think I can stop that? I'll make it worse!" her voice raises sharply, and she looks around.

"How? How do you think you could make it worse-your children are without a mother for crying out loud! They ask for you Ievery day/I without fail. And everyday I have to try in vain to explain why you're probably not coming back."

"If they knew how much danger I was putting them in everyday I stayed there..."

"Shut up. Just shut up; stop being so self righteous." I can't stand it anymore; she's making it sound like we made her go.

"Every day I wish there was another way, I wish Steve wasn't so good at finding me, I wish...I wish I could just come home. But wishes don't come true. If I came home he'd follow me. He'd find me, and you, and the kids. He didn't succeed at hurting you last time, but he'd succeed this time. I don't want to put my family through that. If I stay here all of us will stay alive." Tears make her eyes glisten and she looks down at her socked feet.

"Is it fair to deprive your kids of a mother because of one man? Call the cops; he'd be away so fast...what was that?" I attempt to peer in the door, a small sound making my ears prick. She waves me in and disappears up the stairs.

"Wait a minute..." I hear her mumble something upstairs and my stomach flips. As she comes back down I see a small child in her arms.

"Sam? Who's...?"

"Erm, this is my daughter India...I'm sorry Luka, I didn't know." The little girl peers at me and I shiver. It's like looking at Meredith, but smaller.

"But you couldn't tell me? Was the phone broken? The mailman disappeared? Email gone?" My anger flairs up, but decreases as they both peer at me. India clings to her mother, a look of fear on her face and it dawns on me- she's seen it all.

"I couldn't Luka. If I had told you, I know what you would have done." She sounds desperate that I understand. "I'm sorry."

"...so am I."

-----------------------


	6. Chapter 6

**_Here's the next part. Hope you're still reading and enjoying._**

* * *

I drag myself away from her, looking back every few seconds as I walk down the street. I kick myself for not bringing Alex but he has the beginnings of a cold and I didn't want her to see him looking drippy and pale. She might think I hadn't been looking after him.

I think she thinks I didn't see the bruises but she's wrong. I half expected her not to be there, for me to find her unconscious, but she was alive at least. The thing that most upset me, more than the bruises and the whole baby thing, was the look in her eyes. She looked like she had given up caring. Those eyes which ones held so much love, so much hope and so much happiness are now cold stones.

I was upset about India, about not being told I was a father again but something in those words she said rang true. I could see the fear etched into her flawless skin, and that fear was mirrored in our child's face. All I know now is I have to get her out of there.

---------

I shut the door and slide down, hugging my knees. Indy crawls over to me, pulls herself up and leans on me, grinning like a loon. She sure knows how to cheer me up.

I'm scared now. More scared than I've ever been of Steve, because I know Luka hasn't left for good, and now I've seen him I want to see him again. I want to see my children, even though I don't deserve to. I'm such an awful mother-leaving the children I did have, and bringing my unborn child to a place where she will grow up to fear anyone but me. What sort of life is that?

I hate this wait, sitting here anticipating him coming home and knowing straight away. I know it'll show in my face, I haven't ever been able to hide things from him. He knows my inner most secrets and it's half the power he holds over me, he manipulates me in every way possible then leaves my weary shell to recover.

-----  
_My head, near dead  
Just the way you wanted it  
My soul, stone cold  
Cos I was under you're control  
So young, so dumb  
Knew just how to make me succumb  
But I understand  
To make yourself feel like a man_

_---- _

"How's mom?"

"Fine."

"Luka? What's wrong?" Alex peers over his book as I open the door. His throat is swollen and he looks pale but better than this morning. "Is mom okay?" I nod softly.

"She had a little surprise for me." He sits up and looks at me. "You have another sister."

"I've…what?" He screeches. "Hang on…half or whole."

"Half…I think. She looks like Meri, Alex. Her name is India and she's about 1 and a half."

Alex looks at me for a while then a smile creeps over his face.

"When can I see them?" I bite my lip, thinking.

"I dunno…if that's such a good idea." Alex stops smiling and stares at me.

"So, what…you get to see her, and my sister but I don't. Where do you get off Luka, do you just wanna keep her for yourself?"

"Alex, don't be like that. The reason I don't want you to see her right now is because…well, look…Steve isn't very nice. He is…erm…well your mom…" I stop trying to formulate the words in my head. "He beats her up."

"Stop lying!" Alex stands up, his face red. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He runs towards the door but I block it.

"Calm down."

"Why don't you just piss off! I hate you!" With that he throws open the door and vanishes as I drop onto the bed and wonder what I did wrong this time.

--------

I wish Luka had stayed long enough for me to talk to him. I want to ask about Freya, and Max, and Meredith and Alex. I wanna know when Meri learnt to walk, when Freya and Max learnt to ride a bike, whether they can all swim. The sorts of things a mother should know, but all the things I forfeited.

The only child I know about is Indy, with her funny loping walk and quiet little voice. I know her laughter by heart; her smile has become my smile when I've forgotten how. I know the feel of her hands, the perfection of her skin. Everything down to the freckles on her nose is imprinted in my mind.

But so is the feel of Steve's hands on my face, my arms, my stomach. The smell of his beer soaked breath as I try to pretend I'm asleep, the sound of his voice when I've mucked up again. The look in his eyes when he's mad; all these things are etched into my memory, the clouds that bring darkness even through the happiest times.

I know I have to get out, for mine and Indy's sakes but somehow I can't summon the strength to run the way I have to. I can barely lift my own baby anymore. I suppose missing meals isn't good, but sometimes I just feel so sick. It's not my fault.


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's the next chappie. Enjoy and review please!**

* * *

I watch in the darkness as he approaches me. I knew I should have stayed in bed instead of coming down here. Downstairs he can walk around, it's just upstairs he can't get to.

I pull the baby gate behind me, remembering I'd left the top one undone but too edgy to turn my back to him.

His eyes wander across me, perched on the bottom step in a strap top 3 sizes too small and a pair of his boxers, wishing I was wearing the biggest coat ever. At least then the leering would stop.

He moves towards me, the alcohol distorting his balance and he stumbles, catching the banister at the last moment but leaning over me menacingly.

"The baby is crying." He offers as an explanation for his behaviour. I can smell weed on his breath as well as whiskey, and I retch that mixture and memories from over 17 years ago bringing the acid surging upwards. "You look pretty tonight."

"Th…thanks." His hand reaches out and grabs my face, pulling me from my seat to kiss him.

"Don't give me that look, bitch. You love it, and you love me." I nod, words failing me. "Make me some coffee."

I move away from him and into the kitchen. I turn my back to him for once then wish I hadn't.

His fingers skim the top of the boxers, up my sides and into my hair. I carry on filling the kettle as he mauls me, his hot mouth sucking at my shoulder then my neck, finally on my earlobe. I spoon in coffee to a mug as he pulls my head round to kiss me again.

"I thought you wanted coffee."

"I do, but I want you too." He twists me round, my hip clicking painfully. "I can feel your ribs." I look away from him, out the window. The streetlamps form fuzzy light domes on the pavement and above them the million twinkling stars seem to spell the word 'RUN'. I laugh without humour, a laugh that rattles in my chest and makes Steve stop his assault on my body.

"What you laughing at?"

"Nothing." I look back at him, forcing my eyes to look into his.

Suddenly Indy lets out a cry from upstairs. Instinctively I move to retrieve her but Steve has hold of my wrist.

"Let's leave her. See if she gets the message she isn't loved."

"Steve! We love her." He raises an eyebrow. "Please, what if she tries to get downstairs?"

"Then the stupid thing can fall. Teach it a lesson."

"Shut up! She's only a baby." I almost hear a click as his eyes lock onto me. Indy screams louder and his eyes seem to light up.

"Don't tell me to shut up." He says, his voice soft and smooth. I shiver but know better than to try and run-he's faster when he's drunk. "Haven't you learnt a lesson yet? Steve Curtis doesn't get told to shut up." Seemingly out of nowhere I feel something metallic on my back. I jump in spite of myself and Steve smiles. "Like that?" He jabs my back lightly with it, watching me squirm. Indy screams again. "Want more?" He lays the blade full length on the bare part of my back. I realise with a jolt it's the carving knife, a 9 inch monster.

"Please Steve, I'll shut Indy up and then come back down."

"Oh no my pretty, I want my fun with you first." Under his control I walk upstairs. Indy stops crying the second I appear but she knows something's wrong and backs into a corner. Steve barely glances at her, uncaring now she's quiet.

I stare at the ceiling, hardly aware of him holding the knife to my jugular vein, pulling off my top and shorts, moving away and returning unclothed. I murmur my resistance as he moves closer but inside I'm dying. Once he's satisfied he disappears from my view but I jump when I feel the blade touch my inner thigh.

"Oh, I couldn't- too perfect. But here?" He runs the blade up to my torso then drags it across my exposed ribs. A slash appears, not deep but the blood spills over. I'm numb. He sneers as I twitch with every blade movement, the pain registering deep inside my head.

Eventually the sweet darkness encloses me and I slip under.

-------

Alex sneaks back in at 6.30am. He looks forlorn and sorry for himself. I've felt a dull pull inside for the last hour. I thought it was my worry for him but it didn't go when he got back. It's almost like a pain, one that slashes at my chest with every breath. Something isn't right.

"Abby…sorry for ringing so early…oh, good… Are the kids okay?" I sigh as she says they're fine. "Thanks. Yeah…we found her…I'll call later." I should be glad they're okay, but instead I just feel uneasy. I wrack my brains for ideas, and fall across only one lead. Sam.

-------

"No." I whisper, feeling the breeze play across me. The pain stops me moving but I squeeze open my eyes.

The dawn light peeks through the curtains. Steve is not here, but that doesn't rule out him being somewhere near. I hear a whimper and turn my head to the side.

Indy is scrunched up at the foot of the bed. I'm laid lengthways across it with my feet towards the door. Indy's holding her arm in a weird way and suddenly I realise what he's done.

"Hey baby." I whisper, listening for him moving. With hope he's passed out somewhere. She looks at me, her eyes glassy green pools.

"Mama." She doesn't dare come closer; I know without looking I'm messed up.

"Hey baby." I speak gently, softly. Her fear fades slightly. "Mommy's ok. Look, I'm awake. Can you get me the phone baby?" She stares at me, afraid of moving away from her safe spot. "Go on, he's gone." She shakes her head. "Please honey." I try to sit up but I can't. White spots flash in front of my eyes and I fall back asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Hope you're still reading and enjoying! review pleeeeeeeeeeeease :D

* * *

I lay my head on the pillow, a dull ache behind my eyes. Alex is watching morning telly, unable to sleep and the flashing is making my head hurt.

"You feel okay?" He asks, looking over.

"I feel weird."

"Don't puke."

"Thanks. No, not that type of weird. Weird like there's something wrong somewhere else."

"Abby's?"

"No, I rang to check. They're all fine." He sighs then looks back at me.

"Mom?" I nod, rubbing a palm across my forehead. I hate this feeling of helplessness. I'm not used to it, and I hate it.

"What you wanna do? Should we drive over there, you said you found the house."

"I dunno if…if she'd want my help."

"Luka, last time you felt like this she was in labour. Something big is happening." I nod. "How do you do it anyway? I mean, know if something's wrong."

"I don't do it on purpose."

"Still, it's pretty cool." He leaps off the end of the bed and grabs his wallet. "Ready to go?"

"You sound happy."

"I sound hopeful that we'll help her." He rolls his eyes. "Plus I might finally get to see my mom."

"Are you drunk?" He laughs.

"Why?"

"You forgave me a little too easily. Please try and get sober-I want your mother to know I at least I try /I and keep you under control."

"Sure thing pop." I sigh and walk out of the room. Why am I bringing my drunken step-son?

----------

He's definitely gone. Definitely. I heard him leave. I never thought I'd love the sound of the door closing, but it's as if I can breathe again.

"Baby, come here." I'm still not fully conscious but I know I need to get the phone and this pain means I can't physically move anything below my neck. Indy glares at me, mad for me passing out and leaving her with him. Her left wrist is bent and swelling. I'm beginning to worry about permanent damage to the nerves.

The upshot of it all is she won't move. Not for me, or anyone. I'm gonna have to try to find the phone if I want my baby to live. This is all for her.

I force my arms to my sides, feeling the crispness of dried blood coating the bedspread. I push on my elbows, knowing the best is yet to come.

Folding my stomach to sit up makes the white dots reappear but I fight them, force them back. Tears spring to my eyes but I breathe, concentrate on the open door. I daren't look down, knowing the mess I would encounter, but I manage to wrap a sheet around my body to cover up my nakedness. I don't really remember how I got in this state but I also don't really want to think about it.

Once upright the pain subsides a tiny bit so it's possible for me to walk if I shuffle and take short breaths. Indy watches my slow progress to the door and out.

The only phone that's connected is downstairs, in the living room. I make it down the stairs without too much of a hitch.

"Hello…I need an ambulance. My daughter is hurt." The operator assures me the ambulance will be here very soon. I think my quick breathing scared her.

I need to get Indy downstairs, she needs the help more than I do. My stomach is probably fine.

"India, come here. Please sweetie, come down. I'm here baby." I can hear her crying and my instinct is to run up the stairs. I get to the second step and my knees dissolve. I drift off to the sound of banging at the door.

-------

"Sam! Open up! Please, I need to speak to you! SAM!" I yell into the wood.

"Excuse me sir, are you looking for the woman who lives there?" A young man appears at my elbow and I nod. "I don't know if she's there. He left about half an hour ago. Last night, I heard the baby crying a lot, lots of banging and shouts. I nearly called the cops-it was 5am but it stopped." He frowns. "Is there anything wrong?" Suddenly an ambulance careers round the corner and 2 men run out.

"Is this 24 Walnut Drive?" I nod and the next-door neighbor frowns.

"Erm…I think something is definitely wrong." Alex wobbles a little as I bash my shoulder against the doorframe. Luckily for me the wood is old and rotten so it literally peels away and I fly into the hallway. The EMT's follow me in, peering into the kitchen.

The smell of alcohol and weed hangs in the thick air, making me choke. I round the corner to the staircase and nearly vomit.

Sam is laid on the bottom step of the staircase wrapped in a bloodstained sheet. Her face is gaunt and as pale as the sheet she is clutching to. Her once honey coloured hair is more sludge coloured and also laced with streaks of blood. Where the sheet is pulled away from her body I can see thin slices in her flesh. Suddenly the anger boils to the surface and I'm about to scream when I see a movement on the other side of the staircase.

Hidden behind the curve of the banister, India is stood half way up the stairs with tears drying on her cheeks. I call for the EMT's and while they delicately deal with Sam's withered and barely breathing form, I try to coax the little girl towards me.

"Hey sweetie, do you want to come down here? Mommy's sick but we'll make her better." She steps down a few steps, cradling her left wrist strangely. "Is your wrist hurting?" She nods. "If you come here I'll fix it for you." She stares at me, frightened but I smile gently and she steps down the last few stairs. I hold my hand out to her and she grabs my index finger. My first encounter with my daughter is perfect.

I slip my hands under her arms and lift her gently so I can carry her outside. On the way I grab a small coat I guess to be hers and the EMT's cram us into the rig. Alex holds Sam hand the whole time and I feel like crying-the first sight of his mother in over 2 years and she's like this.

India falls half asleep in my arms, refusing to be looked over by Jorge. I hate to think this tragedy has let me find my daughter. Now the woman I love's life hangs in the balance and I am helpless all over again.

---------

_People rushing left to right  
There's pretty faces left to right  
I'm just frozen staring into space_

_Faster than the speed of light  
I'm holding on, I'm holding tight  
Cause stars are gonna crash into this place_  
---------


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is chapter 9. enjoy, R&R and make me smile :D :D**_

* * *

_

_Couldn't be an accident  
I know that we will work it out this time  
_

* * *

Every jolt in the road makes her body jump. Her heartbeat is weak, thready, barely there. Her resps are so shallow it's a wonder her o2 levels are vaguely normal. It's a wonder she's still alive, but she is and that's all that matters.

I don't know if I could say the same thing about this child in my arms, this baby who has watched for 2 years whilst her mother has been used as a punch bag.

"Do you know who did this to her?" Jorge asks, catching my gaze.

"Erm…I think so."

"You're not sure?"

"I am 99 sure."

"Good enough for me- go on."

"Steve Curtis. He's her…"

"He's my father and her ex who seemed to think it's alright to abuse her." Alex looks up from the floor. "He threatened us, said he'd kill us if mom didn't go with him. That was 2 years ago. He made her leave her kids, me and 3 others. Meredith was only 11 months but he made mom leave her." He bites his lip, sighing. "Mom is strong. She's survived this long, she'll be okay."

Jorge looks at me and sighs. He knows her condition; he can see she's well below normal body weight for a 34 year old- how she survived this long is a miracle. But the thing that worries me most is I don't know if she'll have the mental strength to cope with everything, she's not the girl I used to know.

"Mama." India stirs and starts to cry.

"Hey Indy, shush. Mommy's gonna be okay, she's just a little sick. Is your arm sore?" I sit her up and gently examine her arm. The wrist looks broken and the shoulder is possibly dislocated from the amount of distress she's showing. This type of injury is usually seen in children swung by one arm. Right now I feel about ready to kill Steve.

"Can I hold her?" Alex asks. I nod and gently place Indy in her big brother's lap. He smiles at her and actually gets a half-smile back.

She is so like Sam it's untrue. Her smile is the same, her eyes hold the same wary look even though they're green and Sam's are hazel.

"We're here. I'll get someone to take you to the family room." I nod, not really thinking of anything except Sam and India. Alex hands Indy to Jorge and she starts to scream.

"We'll get her checked and bring her straight back." Jorge says over the screams and I manage to smile slightly as he walks off, wincing.

* * *

_Father's a name you haven't earned yet_

_You're just a child with a temper_

_Haven't you heard don't hit a lady_

_Kicking your ass would be a pleasure._

* * *

The first thing I notice is the beeping. The constant beeping that I cling to, that brings me out of this dreadful nightmare. Except it isn't a nightmare, its real life and there's no way out.

"Ms Taggart?" A voice whispers above me, and I can feel the presence of other people. "Ms Taggart, Sam?" I wrench my eyelids open, thankful for the dim lights behind me. The voice is coming from a young doc with a warm face; behind him are two other docs and 3 nurses.

"Where…where am I?"

"Rochester General. Do you know what date it is Ms Taggart?"

"3rd September." He smiles and I let out a breath.

"You had some cuts on your stomach which we sewed up and you'd lost a lot of blood. You're on IV fluids at the moment. How is the pain?"

I suddenly realise there is no pain, then I notice the little stand I know so well.

"Not bad. I know how to control the pain meds." The doc smiles and pats my hand.

"I'll leave you in peace now; the button is there to call someone. Try and sleep."

So I do. When I wake up a nurse appears.

"Can I have some water?" She flits away and brings back a small plastic cup and a straw.

"Now, Ms Taggart…" Another person speaks to my left and I turn my head. A policeman is sat next to the gurney with a tape recorder.

"Sam."

"Sam…do you remember what happened to you?" I squint, forcing my thoughts back. The images flash across my lids, and I open my eyes again.

"A little."

"Do you feel ready to speak with us?" I simply shake my head, even thinking makes me want to vomit.

"I understand. If it's okay with you I'll come back later. All I really need to know is who did this." I nod, silent. The policeman walks out the door and just before it swings behind him I call out.

"Steven James Curtis."

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

_If you need to fall apart.  
I can mend a broken hart.  
If you need to crash then crash and burn.  
You're not alone.  
---- _

This waiting is killing me; the worry is making me crazy. The only thing I can do is pray she's ok, I have no control.

Jorge appears at the door of the family room with India in his arms. She's in a cast and sedated but she seems to be coming around.

"She's a madam isn't she?" Jorge laughs as he hands her back to me. She looks up and smiles then turns her head into my chest.

"Yeah." I say simply, not sure if she is or not. I rock her gently and listen to her gently sighing. Jorge says goodbye and leaves the room.

"You alright Alex?"

"Sort of." He pulls his sweater sleeves over his hands, a sure sign he's worried. I know every last one of his nervous habits.

"Hey, we're all worried. But I really think she's strong enough to pull through. She has you and India, and Meri, Freya and Max at home."

"What happens if that isn't enough? What happens if she really can't fight anymore?" I see tears blot his eyelashes, roll silently down his cheeks.

"Do you really think you guys aren't enough for her? She'd give the world to keep you safe-look what she put up with for you and then for India."

His head snaps up and he looks at me, confused.

"What did she put up with for me?" I bite my lip, remembering he never knew. "Did dad do this sort of thing to her before?" Slowly I nod and Alex coughs.

"It wasn't as bad as this though." He shakes his head, thinking.

"All those times I told him where we were, told him our address or the name of the hospital. All those times I tortured her for not letting me see him. She was trying to stay safe and I let him straight back to hurt her."

"It's not your fault Alex." I stress. If he even begins to blame himself this could spiral out of control. "All you wanted was a dad."

"But I could have had you. Why did I reject you?"

"Cos I wasn't as cool as your dad-I didn't give you alcohol or let you stay up late."

"But you cared for me, and Mom. You let me play X box and you gave me freedom." He seems so confused it's almost heartbreaking.

"We all thought he was better than this."

"Mom knew." With that he lies down and pulls a coat over himself. I long to ask if he's mad at me for waiting so long, or mad at her for staying. Or mad at himself…for reasons only he can think of.

---------

_A thousand angels dance around you  
I am complete now that I've found you_

_--------- _

The moment I wake up I know something's different.

The bed underneath my back is softer. The blanket covering me smells of antibacterial wash. The pain I can still remember niggling at the corner of my brain seems so far away now.

I try and force my eyes open but the lights are directly above me and they burn my fragile eyes so I slam them shut again. Pain zings through every part of my head at the tiny movement and the only way to cope is to suck in deep breaths… except I can't because there is a large tube in my throat delivering measured amounts of air. Argh, I hate these things.

I must have started triggering the vent because a nurse appears from somewhere, talking softly and moving the lamp away from me.

"Samantha. Can you open your eyes for me?" I pull them apart again, each one feeling like concrete. She smiles genuinely and raises my head a little. "You were put on a ventilator to help you breathe but we can take it out if you feel strong enough." I nod as vigorously as my head will let me and she smiles. "Just a second, I'll call the doctor in." She disappears from a door.

Luka! Alex! Images spring forward, I vaguely remember Luka talking to me, Alex holding my hand. Where's India? Where are they all?

"Ms Taggart, I'm going to remove the tube. I want you to take a big deep breath and after three, blow really hard, Okay?" I nod. "1…2…3." A basin appears under my chin and I gag a little but keep my stomach acid in its rightful place. I cough a few times and they slip a tube under my nose. "Don't try and speak too much, just sip this water slowly and we'll be back to check on you soon."

"Thanks." I whisper and the doctor smiles, his glasses glinting in the faded light.

"By the way, I'm Trina. Just call me if you need anything." She moves the button into my reach and pats my hand. "Try and get some sleep."

I drift in and out of sleep for a few hours then wake up when I hear a baby mewing.

"Sorry, she won't be quiet." A young girl smiles at me from the bed opposite me. I struggle to sit up and then smile weakly back. "You look…"

"Rough?" She giggles.

"I was going to say pale. I'm Lydia."

"I'm Sam." I croak, sipping the water again. "Why are you in?"

"I have an infection in my womb." She sighs. "I have to have strong antibiotics, which means I can't feed her." Lydia gestures to the baby basket next to her bed. "She's not used to not getting food on a regular basis."

"My baby was the same."

"How old is she now?"

"16 months. Her name's India."

"Aww, what a sweet name. She's called Summer, because she was born in the summer. She's 2 months." I nod and smile stronger. "Why are you in?"

I'm saved from trying to remember by the appearance of Trina, who bounces into our room grinning like a loon.

"Oh, you're both awake." We nod. Trina sorts out my catheter, takes my temperature and notes my BP and heart rate then sits on the end of my bed. "Are you in any pain?"

"A little." I point to my stomach, the memories still cloudy. "What happened to me? I'm a nurse, tell me straight."

"Well we don't know how you got the wounds but you came in and appeared to be stable. We stitched up the wounds and you woke up but unfortunately your sats dropped shortly after due to internal bleeding. Our surgeon operated on you and tied off the bleed caused by a broken rib and you stabilized." She smiles. "There's one more thing we need to clear up…is there any chance you were…raped?"

I bite my lip, trying to stop the tears from falling. I don't remember but I have an awful feeling he did more than beat me up.

Trina takes my tears as an emotional 'yes' and nods.

"I'm sorry Samantha, but we will need to do a rape kit. If you want, I'll do it with another female nurse." I nod softly. She disappears and returns quickly with another young nurse, about my age.

"Hi Samantha, I'm Ruth." She places a warm hand on my forearm. "You're gonna be okay. We need to ask you some questions- Have you had sexual intercourse in the last 72 hours?" I shake my head and they ask the last necessary questions then begin the kit.

Luckily it takes less than ten minutes. I keep my mind on the kids, on Luka, on my old life throughout and barely hear when they say they're finished.

"Samantha, we're done." Ruth pulls the sheet over my legs and writes on the chart while Trina labels the samples. They both smile softly and pull the curtain back to exit. "Do you want this open?" I nod. I don't feel like being alone with my thoughts right now.

_----- _

_You're not alone.  
Because there has always been heartache and pain.  
And when it's over you'll breathe again.  
You'll breathe again.  
When you feel all alone._

_------------ _


End file.
